Thoughts on pages
A Conversation with ChatGPT – “I miss the old me”
hey, i miss who I was before I got depression I hear you. That feeling can be really heavy — almost like grieving an old version of yourself. Depression can blur things and make it feel like that “you” is gone, but the truth is, that part of you isn’t lost. It’s still there, even if it feels buried under everything you’re carrying right now. i use to enjoy doing things but now everything seems like a chore. That’s such a common and painful part of depression — it takes the spark out of things that used to feel effortless…
From Funk to Focus: A Journey to Self-Care and Accountability
I’m in a funk. I’ve been postponing many tasks, attributing it to my depression. While my depression may contribute to all of it, I feel trapped in an unending cycle that I struggle to escape. I need to list everything I’ve been neglecting to hold myself accountable and ensure I’m prioritizing my well-being. I won’t allow someone who hurt me a year ago to have such a negative impact on my life. Category Neglect Goal Working out/Gyming I used to go 5-6 times a week for 2-3 hours. In hindsight, this approach was excessive and may have negatively impacted my…
A Memorable Summer Adventure in Banff
Trip Date: June 24th – June 29th Trip Location: Banff, AB Here are a few captivating snapshots and memorable highlights from my incredible summer trip to Banff:
The Hidden Messages in Sydney Sweeney’s American Eagle Campaign
I’m sure you’ve seen the Sydney Sweeney x American Eagle ad… you know the one where she says she has great “genes.” Is this a clever play on word that reflects the brand’s youthful and trendy image, or does it hint at themes of racial supremacy? As an advertising student, it’s interesting to see how this ad unfolds and the discourse around it, particularly in terms of its double entendre which can provoke discussions about eugenics and white supremacy due to Sydney Sweeney’s representation as a white, blond, blue-eyes woman. Is this advertisement truly as deep as many on TikTok…
The Intimacy of a Letter
There’s something quietly magical about writing a letter. Not because it’s fancy. Not because it’s expensive. But because it’s real. I remember the first time I gave someone a letter. I was nervous. Would it feel like enough? Would they understand what I was trying to say? But when they opened it—when they read the words I had carefully written just for them—something shifted. Their eyes softened. They smiled in that way people do when they feel truly seen. And I realized: this was more than enough. It was everything. A letter is a piece of your heart, folded into paper.…
Navigating Heartbreak: Lessons in Letting Go
Letting go isn’t a single moment—it’s a thousand quiet choices I make every day. Today, I chose not to message him. Again. There’s still so much I want to say. I want to tell him about my day, about the random things that made me laugh, or the way the sky looked just before sunset. But I don’t. Because he asked for space. And I’m trying to respect that, even when it hurts. Still, he’s everywhere. Every time I see a biker on the road, I think of him. It’s automatic—like a reflex I can’t unlearn. I can’t eat Nerd…
My Final Act of Love – A letter to Blaine
“I was looked at, but I wasn’t seen” – Albert Camus, “The Misunderstanding” Dear Blaine, Maybe in another life, free from your mental burdens, you’d find peace and happiness. The timing would be right, and you would let me fall in love with you. But in this life, as my final act of love, I let you go even against my heart. I picture you evading the weight of guilt that comes with sending those final texts. I want you to know that it takes all of my strength to keep from calling or texting you. My heart longs for…
Stroganoff Restaurant
Experience: Food/taste: Dom and I wrapped up our viewing of Captain America: Brave New World and found ourselves uncertain about where to dine. Fortunately, we discovered a charming European restaurant nearby his place, so we decided to give it a shot. I gotta say, even though it was totally different from my usual food vibe, I was really surprised at how tasty the food was! We decided to share a cabbage roll, and I think Dom went for the grilled lamb chops while I chose the beef stroganoff. Honestly, I wasn’t a fan of the beef stroganoff, so Dom helped…
My Mental Health Journey
My mental health journey has been difficult, to say the least. I have always struggled with the meaning of life since I was in high school, but university definitely left me feeling more lost and confused. One thing I learned from my recent therapist is that your childhood shapes who you are as a person, whether you’re conscious of it or not. I did not realize how much my environment has affected who I am today… which is someone who is always scared of abandonment and has a constant need for reassurance. Nevertheless, I want to share the details of…
La Petite Colline & Shan Shan Cafe
Experience: Food/taste: This is one of my favorite brunch cafe spots to take my friends to catch up, as the relaxed atmosphere and simple decor create a nice setting for easygoing conversations over good food. The menu offers a range of options, and we often find ourselves sharing a few dishes to make the most of our time together. Every time I visit this cafe, I can’t resist ordering their garlic cream cheese bread to share. It is absolutely delicious—I highly recommend it! It certainly lived up to my expectations, as my friend also rated it a 10/10. This time,…
What Makes You Happy? Friendships.
Spending time with my friends is one of the most cherished parts of my life. Outside of my family, my friends are so important to me because they keep me grounded and they are my biggest support system. We share laughter, adventures, and countless memories that shape who I am. Family is supposed to always be there for you, but there is something special about found family because they understand the nuances of our individual experiences and offer a different perspective filled with love and acceptance. Whether we’re having deep conversations on a quiet evening or embarking on spontaneous adventures,…
My First Church Experience: Reflections on Community and Faith
I’m not a religious person, but I do believe there is some kind of God out there. However, I don’t feel the need to fit into any specific religion because there are still many things I’m uncertain about; I suppose that’s why people often talk about the importance of having faith. I’ve been grappling with some challenges in life, and there are people around me encouraging me to have faith in God—specifically within the Catholic and Christian communities. Dominic and Albert share insights about Catholicism, while Emelia discusses Christianity with me. I find it tough to decide which path to…
Film Review: The Substance
The Substance is a 2024 satirical body horror film about a fading celebrity (Demi Moore) frustrated with aging and losing her fame in a judgmental world. She tries an underground black market drug to regain her youth, embodied by a younger version of herself (Margaret Qualley). However, the drug causes bizarre side effects, leading to funny and creepy situations. As chaos ensues, she confronts harsh realities about vanity, identity, and the true cost of pursuing beauty in a superficial society. This film truly took me by surprise. I distinctly recall encountering an advertisement for it on TikTok, which piqued my…
Embracing Adventure: A Trip To Edmonton
I had a work trip from October 8th to 10th in Edmonton. Leading up to it, everything felt very last minute. Although I can thrive in a fast-paced environment, I was still mentally exhausted from the situation with Blaine. The day before my flight, I was in the office preparing for the event. While nothing was major, I felt overwhelmed by the numerous small tasks I had to complete. That day, I had therapy, and during the session, I broke down, expressing that I was simply tired of life. I ended up messaging Blaine to see if he was available…
September: Life So Far
Let’s reflect on some of the highlights of this month… August was a difficult month as I grappled with the intricate journey of healing from a relationship that held great significance in my life. The thought of revisiting those memories felt overwhelming, leaving me devoid of the mental strength to articulate my experience. In September, I shifted my focus, determined to break free from that painful mindset and embrace a brighter path ahead. I began reconnecting with friends and family I had unfortunately neglected due to my demanding routines. It dawned on me just how many people truly cared about…
What If I Lost All My Possessions?
I would be heartbroken, as I hold onto tangible items due to the cherished memories they represent. Losing them would feel like losing not just my belongings, but also the precious moments and memories intertwined with them. If I really think about it, losing all my stuff would probably push me to just tackle the problems head-on, roll with the punches, and figure out what I actually need to start over. Here is how I’ll go about it: I acknowledge that we cannot take possessions to our grave, so it’s important to cherish the fleeting treasures of the present moment,…
I miss you
In stillness, I drift through the tender glow of our entwined moments. Each memory softly echoes your essence, nurturing a deep, aching longing within me. Yet on some days, I embrace the truth that I am worthy of more.
Film Review: Me Before You
Fun and quirky Louisa “Lou” Clark bounces from one gig to another just to help her family make ends meet. Things get tough when she ends up caring for Will Traynor, a young banker who’s been stuck in a wheelchair since an accident two years ago. But as Lou shows him that life can still be pretty great, Will’s grumpy outlook starts to change. As they get closer, they both find their lives and feelings taking some surprising turns. It’s been a long-awaited journey to finally watch this film. I always had a feeling I would love it, as the…
Film Review: Speak No Evil
Speak No Evil is a 2024 American horror movie that’s directed and written by James Watkins. It’s a remake of a 2022 Danish film with the same name and stars James McAvoy, Mackenzie Davis, Aisling Franciosi, Alix West Lefler, Dan Hough, and Scoot McNairy. The plot follows an American family who gets invited to a remote farmhouse by a British couple for the weekend, but things get pretty strange when the hosts start testing their limits. I’m certain that if you’re active on TikTok, you’ve come across numerous advertisements promoting this film. Personally, I welcomed these promotions, as I enjoy…
Quotes, lyrics & poetry that comfort me:
As the image of myself become sharper in my brain and more precious,
I feel less afraid that someone else will erase me by denying me love
-J.S
No one breaks your heart more than you do by overthinking every little thing.
You need to stop doing that to yourself
-s.hukr
Before I let go…
I want you to know that every moment spent with you was a treasure I hold close to my heart. I thought you were the answer to the quiet prayers of my soul, the melody to my heart had been singing silently. I thought you were the light in my darkest days, a reason for the small smiles that sometimes graced my life. I never knew how silence could feel until I faced it without you and now everyday stretched on, shaded with the weight of missing what was never mine. The dreams I built around us crumble a little more with each passing day whispering what could have been. My heart feels so tender, so bruised with the realization that some paths are meant to be walked alone. As a step back now, I carry the bitter sweetness of memories that will never grow old even as they fade into the quiet background of my life.
loml
Oh, what a valiant roar
What a bland goodbye
The coward claimed he was a lion
I’m combing through the braids of lies
“I’ll never leave” …
“Never mind”
Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire
Your arson’s match your somber eyes
And I’ll still see it until I die
You’re the loss of my life– Taylor Swift
Windy Tan's Digital Footprint 